The lack of language makes parenting small children a guessing game and an exercise in acknowledging physical cues. It’s a lot of trial and error, a lot of looking, listening, feeling, intuiting.
When, at a year and some, that channel of communication starts to open, it is exhilarating for all involved.Read more
On some molecular level, crossing the threshold into parenthood stripped away a few layers of my outer skin. I spent my twenties gearing myself up to face the world, pummeling through the subway system in New York City, bartending into the wee hours. I was an armadillo. Becoming a mom was like going through security at the airport. Metaphorically, I arrived with a hoodie and boots and came out the other side in socked feet and a tank top. Bare minimum.Read more
Technicity is when a person can so fully embody their technique that they move through it, beyond it. Technicity is a catch 22 of sorts. In order to let go of technique, you need to first have it and that takes time and hard work. Then, once you have it, it’s very hard to let go of those hard-won abilities. But, the dancers I most admire are those who can do just that, leave technique behind and move forward, literally and figuratively.Read more
It is important to me that my kids see me as strong, capable, independent and brave. I relish in their admiration of my abilities; be it pancake making, assembling Ikea furniture or going on stage. But when I think of the values that I can pass on to my children from the life I have and continue to live, the things I have learned for myself, not the ones that were taught to me, I think of resilience. I think of how important it is to be able to endure defeat. Rejoicing in success is natural, easy, but picking yourself up from rejection takes work, it takes optimism and strength and stubbornness. It is necessary in our professional and personal lives.Read more
When I look at my two children huddled together over a book, squished together under a blanket or climbing one over the other to reach a toy, I think of that physical intimacy. I remember the same kind of informal yet deeply familiar contact throughout my childhood with my sister.
The little one places her hand on the big one’s leg without even noticing she’s doing it. The touch is so natural to them both, it goes completely unnoted. That physical connection is one of the most comforting and delightful parts of childhood and, as such, of life.Read more
I’m talking about something more subtle, more every day, less visible. Those moments where, as the caretaker of a small person, you find yourself eating food that has been on the floor for well over three seconds just because you know a trash can is out of arm’s reach. Or when you trek down your city block with a kid in each arm, each one holding a melting popsicle, sweating like you’ve just finished a Bikram yoga class only to run into an esteemed and immaculately dressed colleague.Read more
Do children have the ability to perceive that love flows in their direction even if our eyes are focused elsewhere?Read more
Before I had them, I imagined that I would pass on my best qualities to my kids; my love of music, my posture, my stubbornness. I didn’t stop to think about the less wonderful or problematic parts of myself that I would pass on.Read more
Both pointe shoes and breastfeeding were passing moments in my life. The first because I eventually realized that ballet wasn’t my future and the second because the need for it waned. But I look back at both and remember that we are often stronger than we think and can handle more than we believe, that pain doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong and that the lessons learned by the body stay with us for life.Read more
Before I had children, I was sure that the moment I got pregnant would be the unquestionable end of my career as a dancer.It wasn’t.Read more