Last week, I was planning on writing something about parental PTSD. I had run into a friend in the park whose son was struggling through phase-in in his first time in a nursery school situation. His mother told me, with tears in her eyes, that leaving him at school flashed her back to leaving him in the premature care ward in the hospital (we was born several weeks early).
I thought about all of the women I know who are carrying around some kind of traumatic baggage from their pregnancy, attempts to conceive, birth and afterwards.
And then my younger daughter broke her arm.Read more
I am my children’s leader and their faith in me is a key element in our relationship. They rely on me for so much and my decisiveness and confidence, my ability to point in a clear direction gives them a sense of security. But I am often unsure of what to do.Read more
“It can’t all be hard, you know. If nothing’s easy, you won’t know when something is actually hard,” she said.Read more
There is a common misconception that a woman becomes a mother and a man becomes a father the moment birth occurs. It is propagated in television shows and romcoms. Biologically, this is true. But in reality, it can take days, weeks, months and even years to make the transition.Read more
In an instant, all those plans went out the window as we shut our doors and locked ourselves inside for the foreseeable future.
I went from being a freelancer, a choreographer, dancer, journalist, teacher, text consultant and a few other things to the director of a modest, mixed-aged home school.
And the strange thing that I am experiencing these days is relief.Read more
Last year, at the end of the weeklong celebration of Purim, my older daughter declared that she would like to dress up as a character from Disney’s Descendants next year. For the other days, Famous Day, Pajama Day, Countries Day, we made a plan a week in advance. We knew exactly what she wanted to dress up as on each day. The night before the first dress-up day, we tried on her Frida Kahlo costume (which was gorgeous I must admit). She looked at herself in the mirror, beaming.
The next morning, as she was going to get dressed she said,
“I don’t want to dress up.”Read more
One of the things I love most about dance is the way it distorts my perception of time. On stage, time is stretched far beyond its usual limits. There is time for everything, for thinking, feeling, moving, connected, making decisions and renewal. A short piece can encapsulate an entire world if approached correctly. In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell writes of this phenomenon regarding athletes.
“The basketball superstar Larry Bird used to say at a critical moments in the game, the court would go quiet and the players would seem to be moving in slow motion.”Read more
As a parent, and as a choreographer, these are some of the hardest moments. They are situations that require creativity, calm, patience and endurance. It is not easy to prize someone free of a complaint spiral, sometimes it’s nearly impossible. But, for me and my child, being able to identify that we are in one is somehow useful. And knowing that there is an end to it, that it will eventually resolve, provides the encouragement I, at least, need to get through.Read more
It is impossible to divorce the emotional strain of bringing a child into the world from the physical effort. They are two sides of an intense, forty-week-long journey and they are both valid, legitimate and real elements of it. Doctors and healthcare providers need to broaden their approach to pregnancy and the care given to women needs a more holistic perspective on mind and body.Read more
The lack of language makes parenting small children a guessing game and an exercise in acknowledging physical cues. It’s a lot of trial and error, a lot of looking, listening, feeling, intuiting.
When, at a year and some, that channel of communication starts to open, it is exhilarating for all involved.Read more