Finding Balance: The Myth and the Reality

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Both in English and Hebrew, we speak of this balance as something that must be found. It is as if the perfect blend of professional and personal is out there somewhere, hidden amongst the emails and heaps of laundry and one must only look hard enough and with a keen enough eye to locate it. And when it is found, what happens?Read more

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There is something deeply insidious in the branding of Mom Jeans. They hark at the impossible balancing act that women must do between the internal gaze and the external one. If a woman chooses to prioritize function and comfort, she must submit to being less “sexy”. And though the name Mom Jean may have been hatched as a tongue-in-cheek gest, the reality of this trade-off is dead serious.Read more

The Last Fifteen Minutes Syndrome by Ori Lenkinski

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Inevitably, family gatherings go on a little too long, past the point where everyone is happy to be together, past the dinner, dessert, coffees and teas and into a strange no-man’s-land of social interaction. The kids get cranky, the conversation runs dry, someone gets upset, screens arise from the purses and pockets they’ve been stuffed into. This desire to stay together, to milk the last drops of family time, is similar in nature to that need for one more scene, one more phrase, ten more minutes set to one last piece of music.Read more

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In live performance, every show is different. Every body is in a slightly different configuration each day, each person is in a unique mood during the show and there are all of the outside stimuli and conditions that influence the way things feel. A cold day can lead to a stiff performance and a sweltering day can garner a droopy one. Because dance is a form resting on the living body, not machines, it has to be infinitely flexible. It has to consider that no two days are the same and, as such, no two shows can be identical. What works one day won’t work the next.Read more

Being upstaged doesn’t mean we have to disappear

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Our children enter the world to upstage us. Their youth marks the waning of our own, their innocence points to the disappearance of our own. The freshness of a baby is entrancing, and it works as a tonic on most adults around. We can so easily forget ourselves when faced with our children.Read more

Olympic Fever and the Importance of Role Models Who Lose

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In life, be it in major moments like the Olympics or in small moments like school tests, college applications, job interview and beyond, we sometimes fail. We often fail even. And when we fail, a lot of times there isn’t anything we or anyone else can say that will make us feel better. There might not be another chance. The opportunity might be gone. And there is no path around that pain, only the hope to endure it.Read more

How we misuse the words “I feel bad” and the dangers of good manners by Ori Lenkinski

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When I think about the many times in which I have said, “I felt bad so I…” I realize that we program girls and women to use these words in the exactly wrong way. We should never do anything because we “feel bad.” If you feel bad it means something off is happening. It means someone is asking you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Instead of going along with it because you feel bad, a red flag should go blazing into our consciousness. “I feel bad” or “I feel uncomfortable” should be a clear sign to cut and run or, at least, to proceed with extreme caution.Read more

Acts of Agency by Ori Lenkinski

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The moments in my life in which I have made the best choices have been the ones in which some inner force pushed me, obliged me to take full use of my agency. Dropping out of college was one but there were others. Leaving a volatile relationship, moving cities, quitting endless bad jobs, those moments in which I felt uncomfortable enough to stop doing something and get up and walk away. It isn’t that I condone quitting but I do support knowing when something isn’t right and listening to that voice.Read more

The Point of Parenting by Ori Lenkinski

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I know the evolutionary, genealogical point of having kids. They succeed us, pass on our genes into a future we will not be present for. They are a creation. They ensure the survival of the human species. All that is true. But what is the point for us, without thinking of anyone else? What do we gain or hope to gain from it?Read more

Parental PTSD by Ori Lenkinski

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Last week, I was planning on writing something about parental PTSD. I had run into a friend in the park whose son was struggling through phase-in in his first time in a nursery school situation. His mother told me, with tears in her eyes, that leaving him at school flashed her back to leaving him in the premature care ward in the hospital (we was born several weeks early).

I thought about all of the women I know who are carrying around some kind of traumatic baggage from their pregnancy, attempts to conceive, birth and afterwards.

And then my younger daughter broke her arm.Read more